"why havent you come out sweetie?" Because i have no reason to, this is my grave right now.
This one is kinda sentimental-ish.
Its been three days. I still re-read the text to myself sometimes. I still look at his picture sometime. I wonder what he is doing right now.. Does he feel my pain? How is he dealing? Is he putting on a huge front like me? I still think about him, and see him everywhere. I still smell him sometimes when im lonely. I havent deleted his number yet. I still feel the urge to text him. My heart will randomly hurt from the injury, impact has yet to catch up with me. I'm dredding the moment i have to see his face in the morning. What will happen? Am i going to cry? Faint? Lose my breath? All of it? Should I wear make-up, just in case it runs? Will i be able to speak?
I can't sleep. Sometimes all i can do is pound my fists on the ground and scream. Screaming helps, but not much, its mostly from the reaction in my nerves from the pounding. Other times i can't think straight i just lose my breath and choke.
I know i should talk to someone so i don't just explode with all this emotion. But i guess i'd feel like they wouldn't understand. No one really understands to some extent thats why i find it useless.
Why is this so hard to deal with?
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