well i dont know any other way to start this ;
I'm not gunna lie, i probably like atleast 5 boys in one week, a constant 3 and the other 2 change, but right now all that has changed.
____OOOO_____ (<-- thats a freaking rollercoaster okay?!)
notice on my rollercoaster theres only 4 loops and the begining and end are straight, and eventually this rollercoaster will change over time, but in the beginning i am very level, level headed in fact. Because when it comes to that digusting and utterly inhumaine word; Love, i'm am like alice, only put her in the land of Oz.
Love is complicated. When you find yourself in love, you find yourself doing things that only someone insane would do, you completely lose your head all for one person, which is actually very very confusing. why is it that humans can be so, ridicilus (ree-dick-el-uz). When starting a relationship its very awkward, that moment of asking that 1! (one,uno,un) person to be yours, and yet you are only one person. To me that seems like madness! you are one person and there are over a hundred,thousand,million,billion people in the world, and you dear person (reader) are going to stick with one person. Love is unfathomably undescribable and uncomprehensible, and we humans who are almost exactly the same way, find ourselves falling into it, searching for it, falling out of it, and hating it, as if it were something we could understand.
I'm completely lost right now, my mind is offiicially boggled.
but all that is not what i wanted to talk about in this post, i wanted to talk about; relationships and liking people. I know i do not want a boyfriend much less do i need one, but.... i am too scared, too shy, i hide behind text messages and skyping. I think i almost want to talk this out, so i guess i will, we will call one Lammeeooo
(but i first i would like you to recognize who's heart is bigger, but which one seems like i like the name better, i dont know you figure it out..gees)
lameo
Lameo, i found him at a store, my favorite store, he was really cute, and had a grreat smile, and naturally i melted. I USED to only say like a couple words to him, but now, i have like a full on convo's, in which i still, cant hide my lame smile and silly little girl laugh, but we are both basically one in the same, we both don't believe in relationships. Which for me is perfectly fine, but what if i actually start to like this person? that becomes worse, because i (since i like to literally study humans, and watch a million and one shows about the human mind, and human attributes, and the practicall pyscology of them, oh and not to mention like a thousand lectures and discussions of the human ways) realize that i was not created to be alone, i will eventually want a partner, and that if i cannot get it from him, even if i do like him, i will move on, not that he wont be in my mind, but still.
Hippy
Hippy, oh my even thinking about him makes me smile and it's completely glossy and blurry and invigorating when i am with him, and he likes me, no he told me he loves me, which makes me want to puke in the good way (yes there is a good way about puking) and i (being the guarded, broken little girl i am) are still very far away from that, but we have US and Us has trUSt, so i really do think that eventually at my own small little rollercoaster pace, will come to feel the same. And from there i will be happy, because come on now, i liked him in the 7th grade and he was-IS my crush, and everyone wants to be with their crush.
there is only so much in my mind..
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